Unity ARP

Training Younger Women

TITUS 2:4-5

In verses 2-3, the apostle Paul addressed the older members of the congregation. He addressed them first because they must lead the way for the rest. It is the older, more mature men and women that are to be the pacesetters for a life that “adorns the gospel”. Older women must have sound Christian character. This solid character is necessary so that they may teach the younger women. The beginning of verse 4 says that older women are to “admonish the younger women.” This teaching is not the mere transferal of knowledge, but it has to do with “training and discipling; to hold a person to his duty.” Older or more mature Christian women are needed to come alongside younger women or new Christians and disciple them.

We should probably not draw hard and fast lines between young and old. There is some overlap here. A woman who is 40-something whose children are growing up into young adults will certainly be able to impart wisdom to younger women that are 20-something. And yet the 60-year-old woman will have wisdom for the 40-year-old. So, some of you women will find yourself at an in-between place. You will give counsel to younger women and at other times you will be on the receiving end from those that are older.

Today we will examine the content of this teaching and training that younger women need. But before we do that, we ought to ask why. Why ought older women to train younger women in the ways Paul commands? The end of verse 5 says, “That the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Younger women - if you put into practice the principles outlined in verses 4 & 5, you will have a much happier marriage and you will be more successful at raising your children. However, these things serve a much higher purpose. You must live this way so that God’s holy word may not be dishonored. Your greatest concern must be not for yourselves or for your family, but for the honor and glory of God and his Word!

Women, is that the major concern in your life? Be honest. Do you truly want to honor God above all else, or do you want merely to please your own desires for comfort, peace, or prestige? Do you want to obey the word or follow the world? If you claim to be a follower of Christ, and yet in practice are more concerned about the things of the world, then you give an occasion for unbelievers to speak evil of the Word of God. In the early days of the Christian church, Christianity was seen as a cult and a threat to established pagan society. The respectful attitudes and godly behavior of Christian wives helped to silence public criticism of the church and its gospel. Women, by following these directions in Titus 2, you can show the watching world that Christianity and the principles of God’s Word give rise to the best social order possible. Not only that, but your lifestyle as a Titus 2 woman can be used by God to lead to the conversion of unbelievers to Jesus Christ.

Some of you have one person in particular that you would like to see commit their lives to Jesus Christ - your husband! 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, “Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the word, they may also be won without the word by the conduct of the wives, having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God.” You are not likely to win your husbands to the Lord by preaching to them. But you may win them by a quiet and submissive attitude. You won’t get him to church by nagging him and dragging him here, but by demonstrating Christ-like behavior in your daily life at home! Remember that you must live in the ways that Paul details here, so that God will be glorified, and His word would not be blasphemed. “If you love Christ, if you seek to honor God, if you want to lift up and exalt the Word, if you want to silence the critics, you will be eager to obey these commands. If you want to do what society says, if you want to fulfill your own fleshly desire, you will disobey them.” (John MacArthur) Women, if you want to so honor God that His Word not be blasphemed, then first of all,

I. YOU MUST BE WILLING TO BE TRAINED

Young women need to be trained in their calling as a Christian wife and mother. Ideally, a young wife and mother has grown up in a wonderful Christian home and has been trained by her godly mother in the domestic realm. Some of you have been blessed in this way. But even if you grew up with a godly mother, you probably also need other “spiritual mothers” in the church who can help you in practical ways to become a better wife and mother.

What I want to say to you younger women, is - are you willing to be trained? Are you teachable? Are you willing to listen to those who are qualified by their Christian maturity to admonish you? A humble, teachable attitude is so necessary to grow in grace as a Christian woman. Women must be on guard against pride. Pride keeps many women on the defensive about the way they conduct themselves in the home. Many do not want anyone else to offer any input into their situation. Some have rationalized their current lifestyle and act offended and threatened when challenged about it. Deep down it may be because they are convicted that they are wrong, but their pride won’t let them admit it. This type of woman doesn’t want to change. They have locked themselves into a no growth pattern, all because of pride.

If you are going to hear what I have to say this morning then you must be teachable. And you must be willing especially for other mature Christian women to help you become a Titus 2 woman. Listen to God’s life-giving word and let His truth set you free. If you are teachable - then you will not give occasion for God’s word to be dishonored.

Next, if you would honor God and not cause his word to be blasphemed,

II. YOU MUST BE TRAINED TO LOVE

Paul said that young women must be admonished to “love their husbands, to love their children.” “What could be more obvious than that Paul?” Why did you bother to even say this? Of course every woman loves her own husband and her children doesn’t she? Well, obviously not. At least women do not always love as they ought to love and can always grow in showing love to those closest to her. This is the only use of this Greek Word in the NT, but this word was common in the epitaphs of wives written on tombs. A tomb inscription of the time of the Emperor Hadrian (3rd Cent.) read, “Julius Bassus to Otacilia Polla, his sweetest wife. Loving her husband (philandros) and loving her children (philoteknos), she lived with him unblameably for 30 years.”

The Greek word for love used here comes from the root word “phileo”, which has to do with tender affection. Wives, do you show affection toward your husband? Your children? Or is your home more like a boarding house where people simply eat and sleep? Affectionate love makes a house a home. Though there are many trials and much work always to be done around the house, do not neglect this work of loving your husband and children. Yes, it is work. For some of you it is more work than for others because you did not have a good example of such loving affection in the home you grew up in. Some of you will find this difficult because your husband is not very lovable. But the command stands, regardless of how hard it may be for you.

You may even be to the point where you just don’t feel any love for him. What can you do about that? If you don’t love your husband then you need to learn to love your husband. And the way you do it is to continue to serve and serve and do good for him, show kindness, and to be gracious. In verse 5 Paul simply says wives are to be “good”. It could be better translated as “kind”. Kindness is a part of affection. It is an attribute of love. Ephesians 4:31-32 puts it this way: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Because of “no count husbands”, some wives have let the tentacles of bitterness wrap themselves around their heart. What should you do with bitterness? Put it away. What should you put in its place? Kindness, tenderness, forgiveness. Why? Because God Himself has shown kindness and tenderness toward you. He has forgiven you of all your sins. “Father, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

So, how do you show love toward your husband? You start by forgiving him. Then you act in such a way that you are not merely tolerating him, but adoring him. Treat him as a king. You say - “That’s asking too much for me to treat a slob like a king!” It may be asking a lot, but it is not too much because in verse 5 Paul said that women should be, “obedient to their own husbands.” Isn’t that the way you are supposed to act toward a king? You obey his edicts. You submit to his rule. Of course the feminist movement has indoctrinated younger women today with the notion that they must not put themselves underneath men in any way. “Submission is slavery,” they say. Marriage itself is slavery.

Radical feminist leader Sheila Cronan (?) said: “Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the Women’s Movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage.” (MacArthur) The Declaration of Feminism goes back to November of 1971 when they laid out their agenda and this is what it says: “The end of the institution of marriage is necessary for the liberation of women. Therefore, it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not live individually with men. All of history must be rewritten in terms of oppression of women. We must go back to ancient female religions like witchcraft.”

Why would feminists want to abolish marriage and get into witchcraft? Because these feminists hate God and His design for women and marriage. Because they love Satan. They want to do like Eve in the garden - to be their own gods. Witchcraft allows them to do that. Christianity calls them to submit to God and to their husbands. Any movement that undermines biblical submission is from hell itself. Any teaching that undermine what Titus 2 says about the place of women is undermining the very Word of God. Any lifestyle that a Christian woman pursues that goes against the Titus 2 woman undermines the Word of God and causes it to be blasphemed by unbelievers. Why? Because even an unbeliever can read these words and see what it is saying. When a Christian woman rejects the clear teaching of Scripture, then the unbeliever will have an occasion to ridicule the Christian faith.

Paul went on to say that women should “love their children.” But don’t all mothers naturally love their children? Evidently not. Women kill their unborn babies by the millions every year. They sacrifice their little ones to the idols of convenience and comfort. You say, “but Christian mothers wouldn’t do that.” You would be surprised what “Christian mothers” have done. Many sacrifice their children in other ways. Before having children, a young woman was used to having a lot more freedom to come and go, and do whatever they pleased. A child puts a real clamp on that kind of independent, free flying lifestyle. Yet some will still try to live the same lifestyle even after the child is born. The child is neglected at the expense of a mother who still wants to live as if she were in high school or college.

How should a Christian woman love her children? I like what Matthew Henry said about how they should love their children: “Not with a natural affection only, but a spiritual, a love springing from a holy sanctified heart and regulated by the word; not a fond foolish love, indulging them in evil, neglecting due reproof and correction where necessary, but a regular Christian love, showing itself in their pious education, forming their life and manners aright, taking care of their souls as well as of their bodies.” Mothers, love your children, but don’t make little idols out of them! Don’t overindulge them. Love must say “no” at times for the good of their souls.

Often, if there is a lack of love between husband and wife, it becomes all the more difficult for a woman to discipline her children. But if she loves them, she must discipline them - even if her husband will not do it. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him chastens him early.” Proverbs 22:15 - “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 23:13 - “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with the rod, he will not die.” Proverbs 29:15 - “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

If a woman truly loves her husband and her children, if she loves God and His word, then she will also be willing to be:

III. TRAINED TO BE DISCREET AND CHASTE

Discretion and chastity go together. Proverbs 2:11-12 says, “Discretion shall preserve you, understanding shall keep you. To deliver you from the way of the evil man.” What does it mean to be “discreet”? It means to show self-restraint and prudence. Discretion is needed in deciding what kind of clothes to wear. Modest clothing that does not call too much attention to yourself is what all women ought to wear, but especially young women. Paul said in 1 Timothy 2:9, “In the same way also, I desire that women adorn themselves in decent clothing, with modesty and sensibleness, not [adorned] with braiding, or gold, or pearls, or costly clothing.”

Discretion is also necessary in how you act when you are around other men besides your husband. Be wise with the type of conversations you get into with other men. Teasing, flirting and unseemly ways are the pathway to unchaste behavior. Many a woman did not plan to have an affair, but they were indiscrete and the flesh took over from there.

One final way in which Paul said that women are to be trained is in the area of homemaking. Women, if you love God and don’t want His word to be blasphemed, then you must be willing to be:

IV. TRAINED TO BE A HOMEMAKER

Paul also referred to this in 1 Timothy 5:14, “Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.” The phrase in Titus translated “homemakers” means “workers at home”, “busy at home”. Is it true after all that a “woman’s place is in the home?” This is where I’ll defer to an older woman and let her speak. Dorothy Patterson, in her article titled, “The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective” said, “The keeping of the home is God’s assignment to the wife. Few women realize the great service they are doing for mankind and for the kingdom of Christ when they provide a shelter for the family and good mothering - the foundation upon which all else is built. A mother builds something far more magnificent than any cathedral - the dwelling place for an immortal soul. No professional pursuit so uniquely combines the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities.”

Napoleon Bonaparte stated that, “A child’s destiny is the work of a mother.” Don’t tell me that being a mother and a homemaker is not a high calling! Too many women today are attempting to manage two callings: a professional career and being a mother. You cannot do both full-time. Russ Crosson, in his book A Life Well Spent said, “Mothers are the ones who need to be there at those strategic, teachable moments that occur in a child’s life that are not scheduled but that define the child’s future values and character.” He said, “Yes, motherhood is indeed a high calling and a time-consuming and demanding job. That’s why I believe if we are to build the appropriate foundations of spiritual and social capital into our children, moms must get back into the home.”

This kind of thinking goes totally against the grain of politically correct society of course. Dr. Mary Jo Bain (?) is a feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesly College. She writes: “In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” If the feminists have their way, no woman would need to stay home. We would have community government farms where kids are raised without the primary influence of a mother. These views have as their aim nothing less than the destruction of the family.

Is the woman’s place in the home? John MacArthur said, “The point is not so much that a woman’s place is in the home as that her responsibility is for the home. She may have a reasonable outside job or choose to work in the church or to minister in a Christian organization, a hospital, a school, or many other ways. But the home is the wife’s special domain and always should be her highest priority. That is where she is able to offer the most encouragement and support to her husband and is the best place for extending hospitality - to Christian friends, to unbelieving neighbors, and to visiting missionaries or other Christian workers.”

It all goes back to ministry - to serving the Lord Jesus Christ. God has called you to honor Him. Many Christian women wrongly seek to serve Christ in their own way. They want to break out of traditional restrictions. Many women seek to become preachers. Women don’t have to become preachers to have a pulpit, however. G. Campbell Morgan was one of the great preachers of the 19th Century from England. His four sons also became ministers. It is said that at a family reunion one of the sons was asked by a friend, “Which Morgan is the greatest preacher?” The son, while looking at his famous father, replied, “Mother!” If it is influence you want, you don’t need to go looking for it, you already have more than you can imagine.

Women, if you will live the life that Paul outlines in this chapter, then you will give no cause to the enemies of God to blaspheme His word. Do you want to adorn the gospel of Jesus Christ? Then seek to become a Titus 2 woman. What I have taught today is really out of my league. The older women are to be teaching these things and training the younger women. I will gladly step out of the way and let you take over this job!

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 18th, 2007 at 6:52 am and is filed under Series on Titus, Sermon Text.