Loving One Another With Our Words
November 11th, 1997Loving One Another With Our Words
EXODUS 20:16
11/9/97
How would you feel if I told you that every conversation you had this week, whether at work or at home, or with a neighbor had been tape recorded? How would you feel if this tape were played back for everyone to hear? What would be heard? Would there be truth, kindness, and encouragement or would there be lying, criticism and gossip? Actually, there is a record of every word you have spoken not only of what you said this week, but of every word you have ever uttered.
Jesus said, “BUT I TELL YOU THAT MEN WILL HAVE TO GIVE ACCOUNT ON THE DAY OF JUDGMENT FOR EVERY CARELESS WORD THEY HAVE SPOKEN.” (Mat 12:36) We are so casual and careless with our words. Often we do not think about what we are going to say, or about the effects of what we have already said. The Lord has given us two natural fences to keep in our tongues - the teeth and the lips. This commandment is a third fence to keep our tongues from evil. The tongue by itself is merely an instrument that we use to communicate with. It can be used for good or it can be used for evil.
In the 9th commandment God teaches us about the sanctity of truth and communication. He wants to teach us how to love one another with our words. In order to learn to love one another with our words, we must first understand:
I. THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUTH
It seems that we have forgotten what truth is today. We need to ask the question again which Pilate asked Jesus almost 2,000 years ago: “WHAT IS TRUTH”? Actually, we can’t answer that question apart from the God who has revealed Himself in the Scriptures. Go out and ask some people this week to answer the question, “WHAT IS TRUTH?” and you will see how difficult it is to define apart from God. That is because God is true, and is the source of truth. God communicates truth to us by words. The Bible says of God, “THY WORD IS TRUTH”.
Proverbs 30:5 says, “EVERY WORD OF GOD IS FLAWLESS”. When God speaks, we know that He speaks the truth. The truthfulness of God is the foundation of everything else that God is. If He is not truthful, then we cannot trust anything else He says about Himself. But since He is absolutely truthful, we can trust Him and rely on Him. We can go to Him as a refuge and be safe. Numbers 23:19 says, “GOD IS NOT A MAN, THAT HE SHOULD LIE, NOR A SON OF MAN, THAT HE SHOULD CHANGE HIS MIND. DOES HE SPEAK AND THEN NOT ACT? DOES HE PROMISE AND NOT FULFILL?”
It is easy to see that truth is quite important to God. He created us to reflect His image. Therefore, we are to be truthful as God is truthful. When God became man, He showed us what truthfulness looked like as it was lived out in the life of Jesus. Even Jesus’ enemies knew He was a man of truth. The Pharisees said to Jesus: “TEACHER, WE KNOW YOU ARE A MAN OF INTEGRITY AND THAT YOU TEACH THE WAY OF GOD IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE TRUTH.” (Mat 22:16) Jesus said of Himself, “I AM THE TRUTH.” He also said, “FOR THIS REASON I WAS BORN, AND FOR THIS I CAME INTO THE WORLD, TO TESTIFY TO THE TRUTH. EVERYONE ON THE SIDE OF TRUTH LISTENS TO ME.” (John 18:37) No one could ever accuse Jesus of bearing false witness against His neighbor. He kept the 9th commandment perfectly. Jesus loved His neighbor with His words. He gave them words of truth and life. His words brought the message of salvation to people. To many, Jesus’ words brought healing. His words gave wisdom to those around Him. If we want to love one another with our words, then we must follow Jesus. Secondly, in order to learn to love one another with our words, we must understand:
II. THE SINS OF THE TONGUE
In order to love one another with our words, we need to know what ways we sin with the tongue so that we can forsake these sins. The commandment teaches us not to bear false witness against our neighbor. The Puritan preacher Thomas Watson said “TWO THINGS ARE FORBIDDEN IN THIS COMMANDMENT - SLANDERING OUR NEIGHBOR AND FALSE WITNESS.” To slander another person is to utter defamatory statements which injure the reputation or well being of others. In this commandment, God requires us to protect the reputation of others.
Psalm 101:5 says, “WHOEVER SLANDERS HIS NEIGHBOR IN SECRET, HIM WILL I PUT TO SILENCE.” Someone who is willing to spread false reports or to speak evil of another person will have to answer to God. God says that He will simply make it stop. The Bible says, “A GOOD NAME IS MORE DESIRABLE THAN GREAT RICHES; TO BE ESTEEMED IS BETTER THAN SILVER OR GOLD.” (Pro 22:1) Therefore we do more harm to a person by ruining his reputation than we do by robbing his possessions.
What makes us want to speak bad about another person? Often it is done out of a desire for revenge. Someone said something or did something to hurt you and the easiest way to get back at them is to talk about them behind their back. John Calvin said, “WE DELIGHT IN A CERTAIN POISONED SWEETNESS EXPERIENCED IN FERRETING OUT AND IN DISCLOSING THE EVILS OF OTHERS. AND LET US NOT THINK IT AN ADEQUATE EXCUSE IF IN MANY INSTANCES WE ARE NOT LYING.”
Gossip is another sin against this command. Gossip involves sin from two sides. It is sinful to spread gossip and it is also wrong to listen to gossip. Often times gossip amounts to only rumor or hearsay. Don’t repeat something about another person unless you are certain it is true, and then only share it if it will not tarnish their reputation. We should avoid the company of those who are known to gossip, unless we are willing to confront them and get them to stop. The worst combination exists in a person who is full of flattery when with someone, and full of gossip about them afterwards. The Bible says, “A GOSSIP BETRAYS A CONFIDENCE, BUT A TRUSTWORTHY MAN KEEPS A SECRET.” (Pro 11:13)
We can break this command by the use of sarcasm. By making light of someone or putting them down in a joking way we may pierce their heart with our words. It is so easy to get laughs by putting someone else down, but we often don’t realize the harm we do. You may be able to take it but the other person might be much more sensitive than you are. Usually, when we practice the art of put down we are only trying to make up for some inadequacy in ourselves. We do it to make ourselves look better.
I am concerned that cut downs and sarcastic put downs are more prevalent than ever in our society. Watch one episode of “The Simpsons” or “Married With Children” and you will hear the characters repeatedly slash one another with harsh and cruel words. Our young people are greatly influenced by such portrayals. This past Friday night my wife and I were out on the town eating at the yogurt parlor. Three young teenage girls walked in and we observed their behavior. They were constantly putting each other down using words that I cannot repeat in this setting. It really made us grieve.
Of course this command forbids lying of every kind. A lie is an untrue statement which is made to appear as true. A lie is told in order to deceive and to give a false impression. Proverbs 12:22 says, “LYING LIPS ARE ABOMINATION TO THE LORD.” There is nothing that is more contrary to the character of God than lying. We think that little white lies are not that big of a deal, but God’s Word says that all lying is of the devil. The Bible says of the devil that “THERE IS NO TRUTH IN HIM. WHEN HE LIES, HE SPEAKS HIS NATIVE LANGUAGE, FOR HE IS A LIAR AND THE FATHER OF LIES.” (John 8:44) A person who lies regularly is revealing the character of the devil and not of God.
In the book of Acts we have an example of how God feels about lying. Acts 5:3 says that Satan had filled their heart to tell the lie. Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead by God for lying. God hates lying so much that He has reserved a special place for those who lie. Revelation 21:8 says, “ALL LIARS - THEIR PLACE WILL BE IN THE FIERY LAKE OF BURNING SULFUR. THIS IS THE SECOND DEATH.” (Rev 21:8) Seeing how God feels about lying and how He will punish this sin, we ought to learn to despise and hate this sin.
One of the worst forms of lying concerns the lies that are told in the name of God and religion. Many who claim to speak for God are not telling people the truth of Scripture. There are liberal Protestant ministers who claim to represent the Christian faith, and yet believe and teach false doctrines. Some of these ministers teach that Christ is not the only way to God, but that there are many religious roads that lead to God. This is a lie. Others teach that the Bible contains many teachings that are erroneous, and that it is not inerrant or infallible. This is another lie. Others teach that God is too good and loving to send anyone to hell, and that hell is not an acceptable doctrine to believe anymore. All of these are lies from the pit of hell.
Satan has many ministers who preach in pulpits all across America today. The Bible warned us that this would happen. 2 Peter 2:1 says, “BUT THERE WERE ALSO FALSE PROPHETS AMONG THE PEOPLE, JUST AS THERE WILL BE FALSE TEACHERS AMONG YOU. THEY WILL SECRETLY INTRODUCE DESTRUCTIVE HERESIES, EVEN DENYING THE SOVEREIGN LORD WHO BOUGHT THEM - BRINGING SWIFT DESTRUCTION ON THEMSELVES.” Again, note that the punishment for false teaching is “swift destruction.”
James says, “NOT MANY OF YOU SHOULD PRESUME TO BE TEACHERS, MY BROTHERS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT WE WHO TEACH WILL BE JUDGED MORE STRICTLY.” (James 3:1) To teach in Christ’s name is a great responsibility, and no one should take it lightly. A person who is living an immoral lifestyle has disqualified himself from teaching in the church. A person who does not believe in the truthfulness of the Bible has also disqualified himself from teaching the Bible. No one should be allowed to teach God’s Word in the Church who does not believe that Word, and who does not have a solid grasp of the basic teachings of that Word. Otherwise, we will only encourage the very thing that God forbids - bearing false witness to our neighbor.
One of the worst forms of lying is hypocrisy. Jesus seemed to hate this sin more than any other. What is hypocrisy? Hypocrisy is lying about who you are. Hypocrisy is a cover up. By coming to church, putting some money in the plate, or serving in the church the hypocrite is trying to tell people they are a Christian. But inside they are full of hatred, selfishness and pride. Or maybe their heart is full of coveting and sexual immorality. The people around this person may be fooled, but God is not fooled. You can’t lie to God - He sees through your cover-up. The sad part is that hypocrites often fool themselves into thinking they are really saved. If you think you might be guilty of hypocrisy, then pray that God will open your eyes, so you can turn around before its too late. We have looked at some of the sins of the tongue. Now in order to learn to love each other with our words, let’s examine:
III. THE RIGHT USES OF THE TONGUE
The Bible says in James 3:8 that “NO ONE CAN TAME THE TONGUE; IT IS A RESTLESS EVIL AND FULL OF DEADLY POISON.” Clearly, in order for a person to have a change of tongue, they must have a change of heart. Jesus said that our tongues speak out of that which fills our hearts. Until a person experiences the new birth and is filled with the Holy Spirit, they will only speak from a sinful, selfish heart. In order to begin to make right use of the tongue, you must be born again, and cleansed from sin on the inside. When Christ comes to live in you, you will begin to love others. When you have love for others, you will not want to lie to them or gossip about them. You will stop cursing them and start showing kindness to them. Do you have a difficult time controlling your tongue? It may be because Christ is not in control of your heart!
If Christ has saved you and He is alive in you, then you have God’s power available to overcome the sins of the tongue and begin using your tongue for God’s glory. Our tongues were made to glorify and praise God. When we praise God we are acknowledging Him to be who He is. We are speaking the truth about God back to Him in praise! There is no better use our of words than simply to offer praise and thanksgiving to God. A habit of expressing praise to God will have a purifying effect on our tongues. It will be difficult to praise God all throughout your day and at the same time curse and lie to people.
It is a sign of Christian maturity when we let Christ control our tongues and speak truth to one another. Ephesians 4:15 says, “SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE, WE WILL IN ALL THINGS GROW UP INTO HIM WHO IS THE HEAD, THAT IS, CHRIST.” If we would all follow the instructions found in this one verse, this community would be transformed. Speak nothing unless it is true. Speak nothing unless it can be spoken in love. If we limited our speech to only those things which were true or loving, then this world would be a whole lot quieter place to live!
If we are committed to speaking only the truth, then our words will be filled with Scripture and talk about God. Colossians 3:16 says, “LET THE WORD OF CHRIST DWELL IN YOU RICHLY AS YOU TEACH AND ADMONISH ONE ANOTHER WITH ALL WISDOM.” If we are full of the Word of God, then we are more likely to speak it to one another, and therefore speak truth. The less you know of the Bible, the more likely you are to spread things that are untrue of others and untrue of God! I have also noticed that whenever God and His word are mentioned in a group of people, that the conversation will clean itself up quickly.
I remember being with some Christian friends out on the beach one night a couple of years ago. We were laughing and singing and having a great time. Another group of people approached us and were drinking and partying. They assumed that we were like they were and so they were using a lot of filthy language. After about five minutes of trashy language, I casually said to one of them, “DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT GOD?” When they got over their shock, they quit all the bad language, and we were able to witness to them about Christ. Are you using your tongue to be a witness for Christ? Peter said that we should “ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO GIVE AN ANSWER TO EVERYONE WHO ASKS YOU TO GIVE THE REASON FOR THE HOPE THAT YOU HAVE.” (1Pe 3:15) Are you ready to open your mouth for Jesus?
Another way we can speak truth is by defending the Christian faith against false teaching. Some Christians think that any teacher or preacher or denomination that calls itself Christian must actually be Christian and that we should not say anything against them. But we must realize first of all that God’s Word commands us to expose false teaching and contend for the true faith. Jude 1:3 says, “DEAR FRIENDS, ALTHOUGH I WAS VERY EAGER TO WRITE TO YOU ABOUT THE SALVATION WE SHARE, I FELT I HAD TO WRITE AND URGE YOU TO CONTEND FOR THE FAITH THAT WAS ONCE FOR ALL ENTRUSTED TO THE SAINTS. FOR CERTAIN MEN WHOSE CONDEMNATION WAS WRITTEN ABOUT LONG AGO HAVE SECRETLY SLIPPED IN AMONG YOU.”
The implication is that the false teachers will slip in unnoticed, appearing to be true - looking just like us on the outside. There are real wolves in sheep’s clothing out there, and we must know enough about the Bible to be able to identify and expose them for what they are. It is our duty to speak the truth and identify such false teaching publicly, so all Christians may be informed and warned. Ephesians 5:11 says, “HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FRUITLESS DEEDS OF DARKNESS, BUT RATHER EXPOSE THEM.” To be silent and act as if every denomination or organization that has the name Christian attached to it is OK is to be both naive and neglectful of our responsibility to speak the truth in this world.
One final way that we can make good use of our tongue is by building up one another with our words. Instead of put downs and abusive language, determine to use kind words and encouraging words. Not that you should never say anything negative, but be sure to encourage other people and let them know what they are doing right and good. The apostle Paul usually spoke encouraging words initially to the churches he wrote to. He would always first congratulate them and then he would correct them. Jesus did the same thing in the letters to the seven churches in the book of Revelation. The Bible says, “DO NOT LET ANY UNWHOLESOME TALK COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS, BUT ONLY WHAT IS HELPFUL FOR BUILDING OTHERS UP ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS, THAT IT MAY BENEFIT THOSE WHO LISTEN.” (Eph 4:29)
CONCLUSION
This morning we have examined the 9th commandment and studied how to love one another with our words. The truthfulness of God and of His Word is the foundation and pattern for our speech. Our tongues were made by God to give Him glory and to speak truth to our neighbor. You may realize, like I do, that your words have not been truthful or edifying to others. You have said many things that you regret and that you wish you could take back. What can you do about your problem? First, make a commitment to Jesus Christ and receive Him into your life as your Lord and Savior. Do you know Jesus Christ in a personal way? Are you sure? If anyone is here who would like to give their life over to Christ please talk to me after the service. If you are not sure that you are going to heaven when you die, then lets talk.
If you are sure that you know the Lord, then remember what Philippians 4:13 says, “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.” You can even control your tongue and learn to use your words to show love for others. I would like to ask every Christian here to make a commitment with me this morning. Let’s all bow our heads in prayer. If you want to make this commitment, then pray along silently in your heart as I pray. “LORD, FROM NOW ON, BY YOUR HELP, I WILL SPEAK ONLY THAT WHICH IS TRUE AND LOVING. I WILL NOT SPEAK EVIL ABOUT OTHERS BUT WILL USE MY TONGUE AS AN INSTRUMENT OF CHRIST. AMEN.”
