God’s Call to Chastity
October 26th, 1997God’s Call to Chastity
EXODUS 20:14
10/26/97
Sex does get our attention. The advertisers know this fact all too well. Sex is used as an attention getter to sell everything from car parts to Coca-Cola. In America today we are literally bombarded by sexually suggestive images, words and activities. What message is being communicated about human sexuality in our culture today? I believe there are two devastating views of this subject being circulated today. One view says that sex is a normal, natural human function that should be enjoyed by all. Since we are all sexual beings, then no one should be deprived of enjoying this aspect of life, and there should be virtually no restrictions. This is the view of the world.
The other destructive view is held by many in the church. This perspective says that sexuality is inherently sinful and dirty. It is to be shunned and despised, and certainly not enjoyed by anyone. It must not even be talked about. This is what the world thinks that Christians believe and teach. Therefore a battle has evolved between these two sides. One side is yelling “sex is good!”, while the other side is yelling back “sex is wrong!”. The truth is, that neither side is right, yet there is a bit of truth in both views.
The 7th commandment brings us face to face with our sexuality. This is such an important area of our lives, and yet it is probably the most difficult for us to deal with. I want to us to look at God’s call to chastity - to sexual purity in this commandment. God has a lot to say on this theme in Scripture. Let’s look at three aspects of human sexuality, which will help us to understand the biblical viewpoint on this very important subject. First let’s take a look at -
I. GOD’S GIFT OF SEXUALITY
When I think of gifts I think of Christmas as a young boy. I was so exited about what I was going to get for Christmas that I could hardly wait. I know now as a father what joy it was for my parents to watch us open our gifts. Sexuality is a beautiful gift of God. It was His idea all along. The Bible says, “SO GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE, IN THE IMAGE OF GOD HE CREATED HIM; MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED THEM.” (Gen 1:27) Along with sexuality, God created something to go along with this wonderful gift - the institution of marriage.
That wedding day is to be like Christmas day. That is the day when God says, “OK. GO AHEAD AND OPEN YOUR PRESENT NOW!”. What a gift God has given us! The love and intimacy between husband and wife is one of the most wonderful and exciting experiences on this side of heaven. God said, “IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE. I WILL MAKE A HELPER SUITABLE FOR HIM.” (Gen 2:18) God then created Eve from one of Adam’s ribs. When Adam woke up and he saw Eve, he probably said, “WOW!” Genesis 2:25 says, “THE MAN AND HIS WIFE WERE BOTH NAKED, AND THEY FELT NO SHAME.” (Gen 2:25) It is hard for us to imagine them feeling no shame at all. They had no hang ups, and were free to enjoy one another without the shame of sin.
God created us male and female, with a built in attraction to one another. As Pastor Bill Hybels says, “IT IS NOT EVIL FOR MEN AND WOMEN TO FIND EACH OTHER APPEALING. HUMAN SEXUALITY IS NOT EVIL.” Bill Hybels is the Pastor of a church of 11,000 members in Illinois. In his book, “CHRISTIANS IN A SEX-CRAZED CULTURE”, he related that in the church he grew up in it was never explained that sexuality was a gift of God and meant to be good. All he ever heard about were warnings against the abuse of sex, and how it could destroy him. Consequently, when he was young and started feeling attracted to someone of the opposite sex, he thought something must be wrong with his feelings. He had gotten a warped view of sexuality.
What is God’s purpose for creating us male and female? Some would say that it is mainly for procreation, so that we could be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. This is certainly important, and comes straight from the mouth of God, but I do not believe that procreation is the primary reason God has given us the gift of sexuality in marriage. The very first reason I believe is so that man and woman could experience mutual fulfillment, intimacy and pleasure. Remember, God created Eve for Adam, because it was not good for Adam to be alone. Sexuality is God’s answer to the loneliness of man and woman. The biblical order is pleasure first, and procreation second.
However, just because procreation is second, does not mean that it is not important. Any couple that wants to get married must be ready and willing to have children. The Bible teaches that it is ultimately not our decision to have or not to have children, but that it is God who opens and closes the womb. This does not mean that we should not try to plan our family size, or the spacing of our children, but that we must realize that these matters are in God’s hands. If a couple is not ready for children, then they are not ready for marriage. Who knows when you will conceive? You might plan to wait 3 years before starting a family, but you might not have that luxury.
How does this commandment, “THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY”, fit in with God’s purposes for marriage and sexuality? As with the rest of the commandments, this one was given to us to protect us from harm, and enable us to enjoy life. God gave us the 7th commandment to teach us the sacredness of sexuality and marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says, “MARRIAGE SHOULD BE HONORED BY ALL, AND THE MARRIAGE BED KEPT PURE, FOR GOD WILL JUDGE THE ADULTERER AND ALL THE SEXUALLY IMMORAL.” Marriage is a sacred relationship, ordained by God, and He wants it to be secure, and He therefore forbids us to commit adultery, because adultery is destructive to marriage.
Also, God gave us this command to show us how to love our neighbor. If you really love your neighbor as yourself, then you will avoid the sin of adultery. Adultery hurts many people at one time. Spouses on both sides are devastated, and children are also hurt, especially if there is a divorce. Adultery is also a sin against ourselves. The Bible says, “FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY. ALL OTHER SINS A MAN COMMITS ARE OUTSIDE HIS BODY, BUT HE WHO SINS SEXUALLY SINS AGAINST HIS OWN BODY.” (1Co 6:18) Remember that sexuality is a gift of God. Don’t despise that gift, and don’t abuse it. Some games children play are not meant to be played in the house, lest something end up broken. God’s gift of sexuality is meant only for the marriage relationship. If sex is taken outside of marriage, someone is going to get broken. We have looked at God’s gift of sexuality, now let’s consider -
II. SATAN’S PERVERSION OF SEXUALITY
As with all of God’s good gifts, the devil has tried to ruin this one. Satan has done quite a good job of messing things up in this area. Sex was created to be beautiful and valuable, but it has been dragged through the mud, and cheapened. We have bought into Satan’s lies wholesale today in America. Human sexuality has been lowered to the level of animals. Men and women act like animals, unable to control their desires and lusts. Satan is the great counterfeiter, and he has gotten us to substitute lust in place of love.
Jesus said, “YOU HAVE HEARD THAT IT WAS SAID, `DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.’ BUT I TELL YOU THAT ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT A WOMAN LUSTFULLY HAS ALREADY COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART.” (Mat 5:27,28) Why is lust so bad? Why does Jesus identify lust with adultery? Because lust is the root of adultery. If the tree itself is bad then so are the roots. Jesus said, “FOR OUT OF THE HEART COME EVIL THOUGHTS, MURDER, ADULTERY, SEXUAL IMMORALITY, THEFT, FALSE TESTIMONY, SLANDER.” (Mat 15:19) The Jewish teachers of the law were teaching that only the act of adultery was forbidden in the 7th commandment, and therefore they appeared to be righteous on the outside.
Jesus does not let us get off so easy. If you are sitting here today feeling pretty good that you are not guilty of adultery, then think again. If you have ever looked at someone of the opposite sex lustfully, then you have committed adultery in your heart. If you have ever looked at a pornographic magazine or gawked over the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, then you have committed adultery. If you have ever had sexual fantasies with someone other than your spouse, then you have sinned this sin. You may feel that as long as no one else is involved, and no one else sees your sin of lust, then its OK. But remember, the Bible says, “BE SURE YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT.” (Num 32:23) You may think you won’t get caught, but God sees it all.
Don’t look around and point your finger at someone else until you can remove the log from your own eye. We are all guilty of this sin in one form or another. This does not mean that if you have lusted in your heart, that you should just go ahead and act it out. God forbid! It would be bad enough to sin with the mind, but much worse to commit the act. Whether you have committed this sin in thought or in deed, you need to know that no sin is too great that He will not forgive. Also, no sin is so too small that we don’t need to confess it to God. 1 John 1:9 says, “IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS, HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST AND WILL FORGIVE US OUR SINS AND PURIFY US FROM ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.”
Another perversion of God’s design for sexuality is the sin of fornication. Fornication involves any sexual relations between non- married people. The single person who gets involved physically with someone of the opposite sex is breaking the 7th commandment, because there is something missing in their relationship - commitment. Someone may rationalize by saying, “BUT I AM COMMITTED TO LOVE THIS PERSON. ISN’T IT OK AS LONG AS WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER?” No its not OK. If you really love each other then get married, and wait until that wedding day. Many couples break this commandment during their engagement by fooling around, only to later experience guilt and regret. Sex is God’s gift for married couples, and it is wrong to open that present beforehand. Some are like the child who just couldn’t wait for Christmas day to arrive so he snooped around and opened some presents early to find out what he was getting, only to experience a huge let down on Christmas day. If you are a young person, don’t open this precious gift of God before you are married!
Another way in which sexuality has been perverted is by the sin of homosexuality. Vice President Al Gore said recently that he thinks it’s great that the TV show “Ellen” is promoting homosexuality to American homes. Such cluelessness about right and wrong is common fare today. There are many people who do not even believe that the Bible teaches that homosexuality is wrong. Some have interpreted Scripture to only be against infidelity, and that homosexuality is OK as long as it is practiced in the context of a committed, monogamous relationship. But you decide for yourself as you listen to a few verses of Scripture on this subject: “`DO NOT LIE WITH A MAN AS ONE LIES WITH A WOMAN; THAT IS DETESTABLE.” (LEV 18:22) “`IF A MAN LIES WITH A MAN AS ONE LIES WITH A WOMAN, BOTH OF THEM HAVE DONE WHAT IS DETESTABLE. THEY MUST BE PUT TO DEATH; THEIR BLOOD WILL BE ON THEIR OWN HEADS.” (Lev 20:13)
Some people say that homosexual orientation is something a person is born with, and therefore they should be allowed to express their sexuality in this way. But such reasoning will not hold up to the Word of God or to medical research. Medical evidence has not conclusively shown that certain persons are born that way. The evidence is mounting that homosexuality is not primarily a genetic or biological problem. The Bible clearly teaches that the practice of homosexuality is sinful in every case. To be tempted with homosexuality is not wrong. If you get into the area of lust and practice of it, however, it is sin.
There are other sexual sins that could be mentioned that would come under this commandment. But these are the major headings - lust, fornication, adultery, and homosexuality. Almost all other sexual sins would fit in one of these categories. The devil’s perversions of God’s gift are many, they are ugly and they are destructive. We have looked at God’s gift and Satan’s perversion, now let’s study -
III. THE CHRISTIAN’S APPROACH TO SEXUALITY
Seeing that we do live in a fallen, perverted world, how should the Christian approach sexuality? Certainly the Christian must be committed to purity of life, especially in this area. Do you know Christ as your Lord and Savior? Then you will want to please Him, to do His will. The Bible says, “IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT YOU SHOULD BE SANCTIFIED: THAT YOU SHOULD AVOID SEXUAL IMMORALITY. THAT EACH OF YOU SHOULD LEARN TO CONTROL HIS OWN BODY IN A WAY THAT IS HOLY AND HONORABLE, NOT IN PASSIONATE LUST LIKE THE HEATHEN, WHO DO NOT KNOW GOD.” (1Th 4:3-5) We are called to remain pure in mind and body, and not engage in sexual relations outside of marriage.
This of course calls for much patience and self-control, especially for the single person. Singleness is a gift of God and to remain pure in such a wicked age as ours is no easy task. For those who are married, God’s will is much the same, in that married couples must also have self-control and patience. But God’s will for the married couple consists mostly in the positive exhortation to enjoy one another’s love. The Bible says, “THE HUSBAND SHOULD FULFILL HIS MARITAL DUTY TO HIS WIFE, AND LIKEWISE THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND. DO NOT DEPRIVE EACH OTHER EXCEPT BY MUTUAL CONSENT AND FOR A TIME, SO THAT YOU MAY DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER. THEN COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN WILL NOT TEMPT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONTROL.” (1Co 7:3,5) There is no greater prevention for adultery than love in a marriage. God gives the green light to married couples to fully enjoy the intimacy and pleasure of married love. Strive to keep the fires of love and affection going in your marriage, if you would keep this 7th command.
What should you do if you are experiencing a particularly strong temptation right now in your life? The best thing to do is to stay as far away from it as possible. Playing around with sexual temptation, is like taking a walk through a mine field. Joseph was tempted to go to bed with Potiphar’s wife, but he did not dally with this temptation. We read in Genesis 39:12 that “SHE CAUGHT HIM BY HIS CLOAK AND SAID, “COME TO BED WITH ME!” BUT HE LEFT HIS CLOAK IN HER HAND AND RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE.” The best advice in avoiding this type of temptation is to flee. Do not hang around. The Bible says, “FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY.” (1Co 6:18)
In order to remain pure before God in this area, we must be cautious with what we allow to appear before our eyes. The eyes are the gateway for much sin. What we look at will become impressed upon our minds and it is very difficult to erase the images that become etched there. It is obvious that pornography is to be avoided. Most, if not all criminal sexual offenders began with pornography. What we look at with our eyes is quite a serious matter. Jesus said, “IF YOUR RIGHT EYE CAUSES YOU TO SIN, GOUGE IT OUT AND THROW IT AWAY. IT IS BETTER FOR YOU TO LOSE ONE PART OF YOUR BODY THAN FOR YOUR WHOLE BODY TO BE THROWN INTO HELL.” (Mat 5:29)
We would do well to follow the example of Job in this area. Job said, “I MADE A COVENANT WITH MY EYES NOT TO LOOK LUSTFULLY AT A GIRL. ” (Job 31:1) King David had to learn this lesson the hard way. When he saw Bathsheba bathing on the roof he should have immediately gone inside, but he looked too long, and then lust gave birth to adultery. He should have taken his own advice in Psalm 101:3 when he said, “I WILL SET NO WICKED THING BEFORE MINE EYES.”
In order to avoid falling into sin we must also be careful not to put ourselves into the company of those who are seductive. Proverbs 5:8 says, “KEEP TO A PATH FAR FROM HER, DO NOT GO NEAR THE DOOR OF HER HOUSE.” When we place ourselves in the company of others who will lead us into sexual immorality, and at the same time pray “LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION”, it is like putting your hand into the fire, praying that it won’t be burnt. Also, we should watch our conversation with those of the opposite sex other than our spouses. If you find that you start enjoying talking to someone else’s wife or husband more than your own, then you may be headed for trouble. Intimate conversation has been the start of many affairs.
The way we dress and present ourselves can be a temptation to others. I have talked with teenage girls who were so naive as to think that guys were not checking them out when they wore certain types of clothing. Christian girls should have a different standard of dress than the world. The Bible says, “I ALSO WANT WOMEN TO DRESS MODESTLY, WITH DECENCY AND PROPRIETY.” (1Ti 2:9) Please, think about what temptation you may be placing before others when you are deciding what to wear.
Lastly, if you want to keep yourself pure in this impure age we live in, then strive to acquire the fear of God into your heart. Proverbs 16:6 says, “THROUGH THE FEAR OF THE LORD A MAN AVOIDS EVIL.” God hates sexual immorality. The Bible says, “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness (which is idolatry), on account of which things’ sake the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience .” (MKJV, Col 3:5,6) We ought to fear the wrath of God. God will not tolerate an individual or a nation that continues in sexual sin without repentance. Jude 1:7 says, “IN A SIMILAR WAY, SODOM AND GOMORRAH AND THE SURROUNDING TOWNS GAVE THEMSELVES UP TO SEXUAL IMMORALITY AND PERVERSION. THEY SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE OF THOSE WHO SUFFER THE PUNISHMENT OF ETERNAL FIRE.”
The Bible says, “DO NOT BE DECEIVED: NEITHER THE SEXUALLY IMMORAL NOR IDOLATERS NOR ADULTERERS NOR MALE PROSTITUTES NOR HOMOSEXUAL OFFENDERS… WILL INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.” (1Co 6:9,10)
If you realize that you are guilty of breaking the 7th commandment, you need to repent. Realize that there is forgiveness for you. Christ died for this sin. You don’t have to carry around the fear and the burden of guilt, if you will receive Christ and allow Him to wash you clean from the inside out. If you repent of your sin and submit to Him, He will save your soul and give you new life, and new power to overcome temptation. If you already are a Christian and you still have a problem in one area or another, then I suggest you go to a mature Christian friend, a pastor or Christian counselor who can help you. Jesus wants to give you victory over the very sins you are struggling with. For “NO TEMPTATION HAS SEIZED YOU EXCEPT WHAT IS COMMON TO MAN. AND GOD IS FAITHFUL; HE WILL NOT LET YOU BE TEMPTED BEYOND WHAT YOU CAN BEAR. BUT WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED, HE WILL ALSO PROVIDE A WAY OUT SO THAT YOU CAN STAND UP UNDER IT.” (1Co 10:13) May we all obey God’s seventh command in thought, word, and deed.
